The World of Scott Mindeaux

Miscellaneous Romance

Have you ever been on Craigslist and seen the heading of Miscellaneous Romance. It’s supposed to me the section that differentiates itself from men4men. This was in there this past week. It was actually written by me. I had been the victim of being dumped by email even before we had met and I got a little hotheaded.

I guess that’s why they call it Miscellaneous Romance – m4m – 42

There is no real romance in Southern California and more specifically in Orange County – that’s why we have a category called Miscellaneous Romance.

We all want the same thing. To meet people, interact and see where things go from there. But that isn’t how it works. Treading the online personals is just the same as going to a bar. You walk thru a field of guys, assessing them based on what you see, not who they are. Sure we all post ads talking about our dreams and aspirations, we talk about the kind of things we like to do and hope someone out there likes those things too. Some post pictures of themselves and others too shy or probably more truthfully, they don’t want to be dismissed so quickly just based on their looks. They’re hoping someone will at least talk to them and take the time to say hello, ask how your day was, be thanked for replying, or ask what compelled them to answer your ad.

Not to much to ask…at least make the person feel somewhat dignified that they took the time to answer your ad. Maybe I’m trying to be more concerned about the dumpee than the dumper. I usually tend to be the dumpee.

Everyone has interests and likes. For me I like cooking, sharing a meal, cooking someone’s favorite dish. I like computers. Yes I’m a computer geek, luv my gadgets and like my toys. Not too much into console games or gaming in general. One exception might be 1st person shootem games. I like just hanging out and watching TV. How about going to “It’s a Grind” and just sharing a quiet moment with your favorite latte and a good book. You read yours and I’ll catch up on new trends in web and print design on my Mac. Maybe you like shopping. If you’re like me, you probably don’t have alot to spend, but window shopping is therapeutic. Do you find places like Home Depot and Sur La Table like giant candy stores? Do you cut out coupons only to have them pile up on your desk and when you finally want to use them they’re expired? Do you try to do the right thing and carry your canvas bags with you in the car so that you never have to use a plastic bag ever again? – but then the reality sets in that you forgot them on the table and you don’t have any and you ponder buying new ones or just having them give you plastic for that one trip?

Does just sitting on the couch and watching TV knowing that someone is just there to hang out with give you the most satisfying feeling? Or maybe its late and you want to go scavenging for some late restaurant just to get coffee and dessert. Then maybe there are those times that you just want to go down to the beach at night and sit on the sand and listen to the waves break in the darkness.

What do you like to do?

From My Perspective

Meeting people is hard enough, much less the whole dating thing. So I’m back on the subject once again of me always having to be the initiator on phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. Here’s the thing, if I don’t initiate, I won’t hear from them. Why is that?

It really boggles the mind. I sit there thinking if I don’t contact them they might think I’m not interested in them. But on the flip side, if they are interested, why don’t they call? It’s very frustrating I have to say. There have been a few guys that I have been chatting with over the last few weeks and its very disappointing to come to a place where there seems to be interest on both sides but then, nothing.

What am I doing wrong?

So a Follow Up to Yesterday’s Post

So…I had a thought today.

It’s just easier being lonely than dealing with the intricacies of dating sometimes.

Leading Me On…

So what does it mean when someone says that?

In as many days, I have been told twice that they didn’t want to lead me on.

Does that mean they are interested but being cautious or that they aren’t interested at all and that is the polite way of saying no?

I find myself in yet another situation where I really like this guy and he has said that he doesn’t want more than just being friends cuz he doesn’t want to lead me on.

It’s very frustrating. I want to be with him because he has told me how he has been hurt by former boyfriends and “friends”. I want him to know that I really do like him and that I really just want to hold him and prove to him that not all guys are out to take advantage of him. I see him on our “non-dates” and find myself wanting to reach across the couch and hold his hand or to put my hand on his shoulder in support. I’m a very touchy-feely kind of guy in general and it hurts that we haven’t even had as much as a hug.

Guess I have to continue to hear how he is being taken advantage of, meanwhile I’m sitting there wanting to prove him wrong…

Remember That Good Guy?

I was so happy that I thought I met a real person that I even blogged about it this past weekend?

Well turns out that he flaked on me and never even called to explain why? When I called him an hour after we were supposed to meet, he said he had other plans. No apology, nothing. 

Well so far for the rest of this week, he has not returned any emails or messages.

THIS, is why I don’t date. THIS is why I’m afraid to date. THIS is why I’m always suspicious about people who want to go out on a date.

There Are Good Guys Out There

So on Saturday I took the huge chance of placing a platonic ad on Craigslist looking for friends and buds to hang with. Simple ad, nothing like the regular ads you see on Craigslist. I didn’t expect to get any responses – I know bad attitude, but it is, after all Craigslist. I had gotten a couple of responses, but they were so obviously skewed towards something else that I ignored them.

So towards the end of the afternoon, I got an email from a guy I’ll call “J”. His email was simple and pleasant. Nothing that raised any eyebrows. We exchanged a couple of emails and I sent him my pic. Again, I exepected not to get a response. But was pleasantly surprised when J returned a picture of him. J is cute. But I had to remind myself not to get excited. We’re just hangout buds – someone to chill with and have a few beers kinda thing, nothing more.

As our conversations continued throughout the day, we got to know more about each other. He was actually quite charming. He had gone to dinner with a friend and we talked more that evening. We agreed to meet the next day. So I said, remember this is nothing more than just hanging out. We decided on a movie.

We he arrived I ws a bit speechless. His pictures didn’t do him justice. I offered him a beer and I had one too. I started the movie and we watched. Now…this wasn’t a comedy or some action film, it was a horror film. It was his choice. We decided to watch The Happening with Mark Wahlberg. We both had gone thru a couple of bottles of beer and I was still nervous as hell. I kept looking over, stealing glances at him hoping he wouldn’t see. A couple of times he caught me and smiled.

The movie was actually kinda disappointing. When the movie was over, I got ore nervous as we no longer had the movie to distract me. 

J had to head home. I wont go into details as to what happened the rest of the evening. Suffice it to say we had a good time, but remained gentlemen.

We have another date on Monday.