January 13th, 2010 10:04 pm |
That’s what the song says. “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge. I was listening to it tonight when it came up on shuffle mode on the iPhone. When this song comes on, I transport to another place. I get sad, I even cry a little and remember the happy times when I was with Brian. I tear up a little then I chuckle at myself for getting so emotional and then try to distract myself with work or something. Ugh..I get so emotional. I’m ok.
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t had a blog entry on here since December and even the few posts before that have been far and few between. I have been in a funk these last few months and I have been trying to make sense of it. There are days that are so clear, that I know where I am going. Then there are an equal amount of days that I found myself closing my eyes at night and don’t know where I”m going the next day.
The holidays were a bit hard for me. With my parents now living half-way around the world it didn’t hit me until Christmas Eve how much I really miss them. I really miss my mom and dad. Christmas Eve wasn’t the same and I found myself sitting in the old house with my sisters and their families and feeling left out. Don’t get me wrong, it was really nice to be with the kids and all, but at the same time I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. I was off the week between Christmas and New Years and spent most of it trying to find myself and understand what and where I’m going, both personally and professionally. I met a nice guy over the break, and he is a culinary student at Johnson and Wales, but with him being in Rhode Island I kept myself at arm’s length and tried not to get too familiar. It was nice having someone around, someone to just sit with, share my thoughts with and to occasionally hold.
January 4th came way sooner than I thought and wasn’t ready to come back yet. I really have pushed myself hard this past year and I always get a bit ansy during the winter months. My last two “heart incidences” happened around the Holidays – so I tried to keep myself grounded and not get was stressed out in December. I have no intentions of wanting to repeat that incident again. Speaking of my health, I have been exhausted. Pushing myself these last few months has been hard while I fight fatigue and insomnia. My head is full of crap I can’t fall asleep at night. The break during the holidays really helped in trying to tune my thoughts towards attainable goals and try to be more organized about my workload and how to accomplish the tasks at hand without having to overwork myself. I have again, gone thru a period where I have stopped taking my meds. There is a stress associated with my regimen and I get sick of taking pills. Three times a day I have to take meds, three times a day I have to prick myself for a glucose reading. It made me go insane again. I go thru these periods where I refuse to take my meds I fool myself that it’s ok and that I’ll be ok.
What the fuck? Really? I’ll be ok? Yeah…
Annual reviews and promotions were handed out last week. I don’t even know where to start about that one, so I’m going to file that one for another blog entry.
On other topics, FoodieInDisguise.com has also been on hiatus since December. Readership has been suffering and I need to put some attention towards it. This year I have plans for a few food trade shows in addition to some IT shows and training. I’ll be going to Macworld next month in February and will be focusing on how we can improve workflow process in the design center and address the issues of source and version control. I’ll be meeting with a few counterparts at similar ad agencies and talk about what they are doing and what works for them and what hasn’t. I’m also taking an intensive on Final Cut Pro in order to understand our video production process and with more knowledge may be able to help develop a workflow process for our video group. I’m hoping to also find a group of animators to talk to discuss the tools they are using and see if our path and choices are similar. All in all, I hope to come back and look for opportunities to assist with workflow and develop methods to increase productivity and turn the design center into an untapped profit resource.
One of the things I know I have to change is what I’m eating. I need to get back to cooking for myself and making better choices in what I ingest. A return to simple cooking with nutrient filled vegetables, proteins and fruits. I will try to journal that food adventure on my food blog.
I’m wrapping up American Idol which is in the background and smile a little inside with the hillarity that comes with the first few weeks of Idol as we go thru the initial auditions. There are so many bad singers out there, but there are also such a wonderful group of talented and gifted individuals. As we move towards Hollywood week, I will be documenting my highlights of Idol.
Glee is on hiatus until April, so I hope that Idol and 24 can keep my attention until then.