The World of Scott Mindeaux

Revelation of a Crush, 13 Years Later

So tonight I reconnected with an old friend that I knew back in DC - we’ll call him D. It has been 13 years since I’ve seen or talked to D and we just spent the last three hours on the phone getting to know one each other all over again. Hearing his voice, I was instantly transported back to 1995. 

We talked about what we’ve been doing in our lives, where we’ve been, we even talked about Illinois politics and government (or lack thereof). He is currently doing his Ph.D in Political Science at University of Illinois in Chicago. 

It was the best three hours on the phone (well make that 2.5 hours on the phone and then 40 minutes or so on iChat). My iPhone died thinking that the beep I kept hearing was incoming emails. Apple has to change that. The conversation moved to timelines again and was just in awe that 13 years had gone by in our lives. I told him that he hasn’t changed a bit in 13 years based on his pic and complimented him. What I didn’t expect from D was a compliment back (yes my self-doubt was in force tonight).  

We talked about volunteer night at NGLTF and somehow I found myself right in the middle of telling him how I felt about him in 1995.

I had a crush on D. 

However, my then position as Volunteer Manager (one of three hats) at NGLTF kinda prevented me from developing something more than just friends with D. D was just dealing with his coming out and was very uncertain about many things in his life at the time. I remembered intense feelings every time I saw D that I wanted to make sure he was OK and safe.

So tonight, the truth came out 13 years later and he said that he was glad I told him. I told D that I felt embarrassed about bringing this up so many years later, but that speaking with him really resurfaced some old feelings. He assuerd me it was good and that he was glad I told him. Life was much different for me back then. I had no fear and at the age of 28 I felt like I had the whole world to conquer! But when it came to asking a cute guy out, I was very shy. To add to the misery, I couldn’t ask D out because of our working relationship.

So it was getting late in Chicago and I had t let him go. I hope that we keep in touch and that we get to see ach other soon. He has expressed intert in coming to SoCal as he has never been here. He will be teaching next semester after Winter Break so maybe he can come visit over the Holidays. Who knows, mabe I’ll go visit him in chicago and have him give me a tour of the city I was born in. I haven’t been back “home” since 1977 when we moved to California.

It was good talking with you D and look forward to the next chat.

Night!